Broke Boys Move Around

I really hate the term “golddigger.” I know it implies a woman using a man for her own personal gain, but it is possible to care for someone and still require they be financially stable. Not to mention most men don’t even have any gold for a woman to dig up. You can only golddig from well to do men, not men who just make good money. Regardless, many of us have been brainwashed to love a man through his never-ending hard times and not require he match or exceed our position in life, yet we usually do not get the same courtesies extended our way. A man wants a woman who has reached her peak: beautiful, confident, mature and self-sufficient. We, on the other hand, are expected to accept that Greg is still looking for a full time job and is eating Hot Pockets every night because his paychecks are getting garnished, simply because he has a good heart. That’s gonna be a no from me, dawg. Men have been so babied that their egos are as fragile as Tony Romo’s back. Everyday on social media I see struggling men demonize women who require a man to have a little extra cash flowing through his pockets. If you are salty because you fit the bill of “broke nigga,” have you ever taken the time and asked yourself if you want more out of life? Are you lacking motivation to improve your circumstances? You’ve gotta point the finger at yourself. Most women I know do not require a man to have Arab money, but apparently if you want a man who has his own place, reliable car and decent benefits from his job, you’re doing too much and need to lower your standards. Since when did it become an anomaly to have things most grown people should have? Broke boys are not to be confused with men who have ambition and are actively working to put themselves in a better place. Broke boys sit around and blame society and others for their financial woes and irresponsibility. Broke boys are afraid of women with standards, so they slander them to mask their own insecurity. Broke boys giphy7have grandiose ideas of a lavish lifestyle, yet they make no moves to do better. I know times are hard and being a millenial sucks. That is no excuse to limit yourself and expect someone to struggle with you just because you’re nice. This post isn’t about the man fresh out of college or the man who is utilizing his potential to the best of his ability but hasn’t quite gotten to the point he wishes to be just yet. This post also isn’t for the woman who only wants a trick to spend stacks on her weekly and keep fresh Louboutin’s on her feet every month. I simply want to address why there is such a stigma surrounding a woman who requires her man to be doing a little bit better than average so that together they can just do life together without the worry of financial strain or burden.

Men Want Money To Attract Women

Men know that women are attracted to successful men. Most of us like nice things, but when a man buys nice clothes, tantalizing cologne and a trendy car he is making himself a walking billboard. He knows the women will come, yet he then turns around and calls them golddiggers. It is nothing more than human nature for a woman to be attracted to a man with money. During cave man days, the women wanted the man who could wrestle down the beast then drag it home over his muscular shoulders for her to slice up and cook. What derogatory term did they call the women back then? Muscle chasers? Money means you can provide, and we are wired to be attracted to the providers. tumblr_nzp6qc3ttn1u8dt03o1_1280How else would our species flourish? No woman wants the weakling. Weak men can’t defend the home and they will do nothing but produce scrawny offspring. Fortunately, we do not have to go out and fight wild boars for food anymore, but the logic remains the same. We need money to survive, and the material things you have represent your position in life. I didn’t make the rules, folks. I know plenty of women who are content being the sole provider; everyone is different. Of course money isn’t everything, but life will be much easier for you if you are able to find a partner who equally contributes financially to what you are bringing to the table. At the age I am now, I do not want a man who is light-years away from bringing in decent money. I do not want a man who is nice, but broke. Judge me all you want, I don’t care! I can’t go on trips with Mr. Nice. Mr. Nice can’t retire at 50 because he never invested in his 401k. What I can do is flourish with Mr. Nice and Mr. Handles His Business. No woman is required to help build a man up to something decent. If I wanted to build things I would work in construction or at Build-A-Bear in the mall.

The Finished Product

Our generation seems to think that a woman who has no interest in coddling a man into what he has the potential to be is an evil woman who does not deserve love. Why has this become a thing? Who is holding my hand while I try to make something out of myself? No one! I think a lot of women have become so desperate for companionship that any man will do. Building a relationship with someone has to be based on more than a good sense of humor and sexual expertise. Trying to determine when men lost drive and ambition and when women threw all sense of standards out of the window is like the chicken and the egg situation. I don’t know which came first. Either way, don’t let Twitter memes and tweets from struggling men make you feel bad for not wanting to hold a man’s hand while he’s coming up in life. If you’re fine with that, more power to you, that’s just not a path I wish to go down. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a man say a woman is going to end up lonely because she curves men who aren’t rich, I could quit my job today and move to Dubai. CaptureBeing rich isn’t a requirement, but being self-sufficient definitely is. What is a “finished product” anyway? I certainly hope it doesn’t mean having normal things like a job that allows you to take a vacation once a year, not have to dig in the couch for coins to pay your rent and not die if you get the flu because you can’t go to the doctor. I believe in people being equally yoked, and if my man is doing better than I am financially, cool. You don’t even have to make more than me to be a good match. A good career comes with more than just money. It comes with flexibility, great benefits and room for growth. You own your own business? That’s cool too. It shows you have drive, dedication and a work ethic that many don’t possess. In no way should money be a substitute for good character; I hope that is not what you’re taking away from this. The point is that finances are important and we are not living in an economy that is friendly to the broke and struggly.

Are You Ride or Die?

A woman who is truly only with you for your money will pack her bags and be out at any inclination of financial woe. That’s how you will know you have a bonafide golddigger on your hands (if you have any gold to dig that is). No one on this planet is safe from financial hardship. You can be riding high one day and struggling to make your car payment the next. Going through hard times with someone you love is not the same as going through life with Mr. Brokey Broke. Supporting your partner through the good times and bad is not the same thing as building someone up because they were too lazy to do it themselves.  How he proceeds during a difficult situation will show you a lot about his character. Does he allow life to keep him in a dark place or does he pull himself out of it? Every relationship is different, so how ride or die you are will be determined by the dynamics of your partnership and how bad the hard times get. I’ve known of women who provided moral support, financial support, or both. There is no correct answer to this. What is most important is to know who you are getting yourself involved with in the first place. Do not allow yourself to be blinded in the beginning because you’re too busy imaging what type of lifestyle you can build with a person. tumblr_lil4namoup1qh4bkao1_r1_500
Of course before entering any relationship, you should know enough about their character and past to predict how hard times will affect them. Life will prove to be very difficult if your partner does not know how to be resilient and keep going when life gets them down, and life is a professional at trying to get us down. If hard times turn into a hard life, I honestly wouldn’t blame a chick for rolling out. A friend of my sister’s left out “for better of for worse” in her wedding vows because she said she did not sign up to struggle with anybody. I am not mad at her for that. Life is hard enough without willingly struggling with somebody just out of love. I can’t say for sure how I would proceed in a situation like that because I’ve never been in it, but whoever came up with the now cliche phrase “I can do bad by myself” deserves a Nobel Prize. Do not allow the opinions of outsiders to have an impact on the decisions you make. Only you can decide what’s best for you. Overall, love is more important than money and material things can’t make you happy but do not let outsiders make you feel like a villain because you prefer a partner who can match what you have to offer.

 

Submit a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s